Jay's New Haircut
by Red-Seeds
Summary: Completely hilarious! Neil happens to see the latest haircut in Canada. He’s now looking for someone to do it on and finds…Jay! I wonder what the gang [and Cronus] will say to this one…[oneshot]


_Jay's New Haircut_

"Hm, the latest haircut in all of Canada," Neil mumbled as he engaged himself into his fashion magazine. "Hey, it says how to do this type of haircut right in this magazine. Oh magazine," He hugged it. "What would I do without you?"

Neil returned to it again. "Maybe I should try this out on someone…but who?" He mumbled to himself. "Herry…too stupid for such a haircut…Archie…not enough hair…Atlanta…she'll probably stick my head in the toilet…Odie…maybe…Theresa…too much hair…"

"Neil?"

He looked up and saw Jay staring at him. "Who are you talking to?" He asked.

"Oh, just myself," Neil looked back to his magazine, thinking. Jay_…Jay…_

He looked back at him. Jay was opening a can of soda on the couch. In Neil's mind, he could imagine Jay with the new haircut. Yes, I can use him, he suddenly thought.

"Hey Jay!"

"Mm?" He asked, taking a drink of soda.

"You want a haircut?" Neil showed Jay the image.

Jay took one look and sprayed soda everywhere ("the hair, watch the hair!" Neil cried, shielding his head). "What is _that?_" Jay asked, disgusted.

"The latest haircut in Canada," Neil explained, checking his blond hair in his mirror.

"And you want to try _that_ on _me?_" Jay cried, completely horrified.

"It's not a _'that'_, it's the latest haircut in Canada," Neil corrected.

"It's still ugly," Jay dropped his soda can onto the ground by accident.

"Oh come on, you'll look really fashionable." Neil reasoned.

Jay looked at the picture again. "Neil, I can't walk around with that haircut," He pointed at it. "Theresa will defiantly not agree with the style."

"How did Theresa get into this conversation?" Neil asked.

Jay blushed deeply. "It's just, well; I don't want to have this haircut, ok?"

"I'll use washable dye, Jay," Neil reassured. "I just want to experiment with it."

The brown haired boy sat down to think. "I suppose you _could_ try it if the dye is washable…" He said slowly, not believing what was coming out if his mouth.

"Excellent!" Neil cried. "And anyways, it beats that old hair you've got."

_An hour later…_

"KILL ME!"

Jay screamed as he saw his new haircut in the mirror. Neil had used liberal amounts of gel, hairspray and dye.

"Neil, this is worst than the picture in the magazine!" He shouted.

Neil just shrugged. "Maybe the development of the picture screwed." He guessed.

"Maybe?" Jay yelled. "_Maybe?_ Neil, that hair color was blond. Mine, however, is not!"

"Ok, ok, Jay," Neil coached. "Don't freak. Just wash the dye out. It's as simple as that."

Jay grumbled, crossed the room to the bathroom and slammed the door shut. Neil continued to read his magazine until he heard his name being called. _"NEIL!"_

Neil sighed and opened the door. "Wha-whoa!" He gasped, and then started laughing hysterically. Jay's hair was even worst than before; it was all wacky now.

"I know I should be sad that the latest haircut's now ruined but this is hilarious!" Neil sniggered.

The once brown haired boy had transformed. In the beginning, Neil had his hair styled in small curls and dyed his hair grey. Now, after Jay tried washing his hair, it turned pink and fluffy, like an afro!

"I don't know how it turned pink but it's disgusting. The pink's bubblegum!" Jay cried, completely horrified. "And not to mention, Neil," He glared at the blond teenager. "The dye doesn't wash out at all!"

"What?" Neil snatched the dye he used, read over the label twice and gasped. "Oops! I bought permanent hair dye!"

"Which means?" Jay asked even though he knew what the answer would be.

"You'll have to wait for your hair to grow out again." Neil finished.

Jay just sat there, gaping at him.

_Beep! Beep! Beep!_

"Yeah?" Neil called through intercom.

"Neil, I'd like you to come over here at once. We've figured Cronus is up to his ruthless schemes again." Hera explained.

"Okay-dokey," Neil bobbed his head up and down, even though Hera couldn't see him.

"Good, oh, and by the way," Hera added. "Have you seen Jay? I've tried to call him but-"

"Jay's over here," Neil interrupted.

"Excellent, call him here too," Hera clicked off.

Neil turned around to see the pink haired teenager look even more stunned.

"_Neil!_ I can't go down there, not in this state!" Jay pointed to his hair.

"I know, I know," Neil raised his hands up. "But the only way we can defeat Cronus is if we all go."

"Now that was the most worthy sentence I've ever heard." Jay pointedly glared at Neil again.

Neil rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, your hair will grow out again in a few months or so!"

"Excuse me?" Jay yelled. "I absolutely refuse to leave this room, Neil,"

Neil sighed and an inspiration popped in his head. "Ok, then, but you know," He smirked. "If Cronus takes over the world, we're all going to die and I believe you go in the state you died in which means you'll be stuck with that hair forever."

Jay gulped and finally gave up. "Once you put it that way…"

"Good," Neil quickly ushered Jay out of his room and locked it behind him.

_Later on…_

"Ugh, where _are_ they?" Atlanta tapped her foot impatiently. Theresa was checking her look in a polished marble pillar, Herry was sitting on a chair, Archie was pacing around the room and Odie was checking his watch over and over again.

"I'm sure Jay and Neil will appear soon because this is rather urgent." Hera reassured the five.

At that precise moment, Neil emerged through the doors. "Hey guys!" He called out cheery.

Theresa looked around. "Where's Jay?" She wondered.

Neil sort of grinned at those words. "What's so funny?" Archie asked.

"Well," Neil smirked. "He's, uh, on the other side of these doors."

"Why?" Herry inquired.

"You'll see," Neil marched outside again.

Odie looked at the others. "Do you have a forbidding feeling in her stomach or what?"

"Wanna describe that a bit deeper?" Atlanta sat down. Archie settled down right beside her as well.

A moment later, Theresa shrieked. "Jay! Is that you?"

Everybody looked around and dropped their mouths. Herry toppled from his chair, Archie and Atlanta gasped and sort of grabbed onto each other's hands, Odie ducked behind Herry's chair and Theresa covered her eyes.

Neil had successfully managed to pull Jay into the room. The gods and goddesses there (Hera, Ares, Artemis and Athena), all of them gaped as Jay reluctantly walked up to his team mates.

"What did you do to your hair?" Odie took off his glasses, polished them and put them back on.

"Actually, you should ask what _Neil_ did to my hair!" Jay scowled at him.

Everybody turned to look at Neil. "YOU did this?" Theresa cried, jumping up. Archie was still holding onto Atlanta's hands in fright until she cleared her throat and Archie quickly dropped her hands.

"Um, children," Artemis called out. "Let's not worry about that right now. Cronus is what really matters here. Hera," She acknowledged the Head goddess.

"Oh, right," Hera was somewhat distracted by Jay's appearance but pulled herself together again. "Well, it turned out that Cronus was lurking in the basement of a residence home. He was trying to capture some of the elders over there. However, Cronus was delayed in success, due to the fact that Hermes-"

The doors burst open. "You call-OH MY GOD!" Hermes screamed at Jay's new appearance. "What kind of shampoo did you use?"

"Neil's permanent hair dye," Jay grumbled.

Hermes was still gaping at Jay's head when Hera cleared her throat. He returned to his senses and cried. "You called, Hera?"

"No, no, no, Hermes," Hera shook her head. "I didn't call for you. You can go back to your lab."

"Oh, right," Hermes flew out of the room and closed the doors as quickly as possible, still staring at Jay's hair.

"Anyways, the building is now on fire and Cronus has barged out of the residence home. He's staying to terrorize the citizens, now. I'd like you to check it out please. Herry," She turned to him. "Your truck is right now in Hephaestus' workshop, all ready."

"Cool," Herry mumbled, still gazing at Jay. He suddenly noticed that every single team mate was looking very intently at his new haircut.

"What?" He asked them. They all stopped staring but continued to sneak glances. Jay sighed and ruffled his hair, making it stand up even worse.

_In Hephaestus' lab…_

"Heph?" Odie called through the door. He opened it up and saw Hephaestus cooking ham on fire tongs.

"Yeah?" He asked gruffly, not turning around.

Herry entered the room. "I'd like my truck now, where is it?" He asked.

"Over there," He pointed vaguely to his left. "It's behind a door."

Archie frowned. "Heph, you've pointed to at least fourteen doors."

"It's in the one at the far right corner." Hephaestus narrowed down.

"Thanks," Theresa pressed a button on his controller and the door opened, revealing Herry's truck.

"Oh and by the way-" Hephaestus turned around, cried "Zeus' lightning!" and accidentally flung his ham off the fire tongs. "Whose friend is this?"

_Splat!_ "Ahh!" Neil's head was stuck in the ham. "Disgusting!"

Atlanta giggled at Neil's situation and said. "That's Jay, can't you tell?"

"Zeus' chicken!" Hephaestus cried and accidentally flung his fire tongs into the air. It landed with a heavy thunk onto Archie's head.

"Ow, Hephaestus," He rubbed the spot it hit. "Which throwing school do you go to?"

Hephaestus ignored the purple teenager and continued to gape at Jay. "Zeus' chicken," He repeated. "What happened?"

"Long story," Jay said quickly as Herry pushed his truck out of Hephaestus' workshop. "No time to explain. Hurry up, guys, let's go."

He quickly ushered the others out of the room and slammed the door after him, catching his orange with purple stripes sweater in it. "Damn it!" He cursed and with a huge tug, ripped his sweater out.

_In the city…_

"Odie, have you got a lock on Cronus' direction?" Jay asked through his PMR.

"Not exactly but we're getting close." Odie responded as he, Atlanta and Neil were running down the street, looking for the center of the trouble.

Jay clicked off his contact with Odie and switched to Herry and Archie. "Arch, got any news?"

"Yeah, I think I see one of his giants." Archie replied. "Agnon, I think,"

"Where are you guys?" Jay asked. Theresa looked over Jay's shoulder gingerly, acting as if Jay's new haircut was contagious.

"We're standing next to the shopping center three blocks away from Olympia High." Archie answered.

Theresa grabbed Jay's PMR. "You go alert the others about this. We're one our way." She clicked off and nodded to Jay. "Let's go!"

She seized his upper arm and ran to where Herry and Archie were. When they got there, Odie, Atlanta and Neil were already waiting for them.

"Do I smell roses or something?" Herry sniffed the air. The smell seemed to be coming from Jay's direction.

"Aw, man!" Archie cried while Atlanta pinched her nose. "Neil, a little bit of scented perfume will be enough for Jay's hair, ok?"

"I'll keep that in mind the next time I try out the next latest haircut." Neil checked out his face for any acne.

Theresa rolled her eyes and focused ahead. "I think I can sense something," She closed her eyes.

"What do you sense?" Jay asked.

She continued to concentrate but then sighed, frustrated. "There's too much chaos here," Theresa cried.

"And I don't think we're going to need your clairvoyance here." Odie said.

"Why?" Herry inquired.

Odie pointed over his shoulder. Everybody looked and saw Cronus. He was grinning at everybody running around in panic.

_In the school…_

"That," Jay threw his sword onto the ground. "Was the most humiliating time I've ever had!"

Hermes looked at the seven teenagers coming in from their fight. "What? Oh no," He cried, throwing his hands up. "Don't tell me you guys lost!"

"Actually, no," Atlanta laughed, dropping her weapon onto the couch. "That was the most easiest fight ever!"

"Oh, really?" Hermes asked excitedly. "Tell me, did you guys find some hidden powers in yourselves?"

"Um, not exactly," Odie grinned.

Hermes' attitude sort of fell. "Then, how did you kids defeat Cronus?"

"Well, it was actually Jay who defeated Cronus for the day." Theresa giggled.

"How?"

She looked at Jay and laughed again. "His new haircut made Cronus get a coma!"

Hermes looked confused. "How?" He repeated.

"From laughing too much," Archie finished, snickering.

**So what do you guys think? Only one request: R&R!**

**Ps. Anybody who's a fan of Jay, no offence to you guys. It just that Jay's really serious, right? And it sort of got to me to make him unsophisticated.**


End file.
